Jesus loves the little children. All the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white. They are precious in His sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world. Well, I don't! The only things red and yellow, black and white that I like are jelly babies. And even those I always eat by biting the head off first. This was not the idea that I had in mind for a blog, but sometimes, life's situations dictate otherwise. Allow me to explain.
It's 08:30 on this beautiful morning, on this even more beautiful island of Menorca, and I should be the only one awake and out and about. So I've come to this breakfast café, to read my Bible and get inspired to write. I am - well, was - the only person in this café. It was quiet, peaceful and serene. That was, of course, until Mommy and Mommy's Precious Princess arrived. Now there must be around 30 tables in this place, all of which are empty, and yet they have chosen the table next me. The closest table next to me. Mommy is carrying a bag that looks like a wheat sack, and is filled to overflowing with every kind of imaginable inflatable pool toy, that Mommy's Precious Princess is now emptying out on the floor all around my feet.
"Good morning!" Mommy said to me in that typical sing-sing manner.
"Morning." I strained back through tightly pursed lips trying to focus on reading the same line for the third or fourth time while kicking what looked like an inflatable book back into their territory.
"Angel, put your toys over here please. We don't want to bother the man."
"Too late." I thought to myself.
"I want to play here." she replied.
"What do you want for breakfast? Bacon and eggs?" Mommy asked.
"I want a milkshake."
"It's too early for a milkshake. What about some egg on toast? Would that be nice?"
"I want a hamburger." Angel replied, hitting my shins with the tail of her blow up orca.
After many suggestions and many refusals, the waiter finally said he'd come back when they'd made up their minds.
"No, no. We'll just have 2 bacon and eggs on toast." Mommy finally said.
"But I want a waffle," came Princess's reply from under the table as she continued to throw her toys around randomly in all directions.
Princess was now very close to getting a lecture from Linti about all the starving children in Africa who would love to have the privilege and enjoyment of eating a proper full breakfast.
The shenanigans only got worse once the food arrived. I witnessed Mommy training her daughter in the art of bribery and manipulation by making empty promises of buying her a milkshake and waffle if she sat down and ate. Finally, she resorted to the counting method in order to get her daughter out from under the table and to sit down and eat. Each time she said, "I'm not going to say this again (which she did - repeatedly). Come and sit down and eat. 1 - 2 - 21/2 - 23/4 - 3!" And every time 3 was said, it erupted from her mouth like a hiccough.
No wonder this child just does what she likes. Constant threats are made, but never followed through. I hated to think what she was going to be like as a teenager. With the fourth round of the counting method underway, I was ready to intervene swiftly. My plan of action was to stick my hands under the table, grab the child by her sideburns, and assist her to the proper placement of her backside in the chair at the table. It was at that point that my Bible bookmark caught my eye. Blazoned in bold black print were the capital letters WWJD? It's a jolly good question. Just what would Jesus do in a situation like this. Would it be another scenario of Him calling the child to Himself and laying hands on her and blessing her. In the version of my mind, He called the child over to Him, and when she got there He put her over His knee and gave her the hiding of her life. Then He turned to her mother and quoted Proverbs 13:24 'Spare the rod and spoil and the child'. That was followed by Proverbs 22:15 'Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.' After that, He quoted Proverbs 23:13 '
Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a
rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his
soul from Sheol.' And finally, He quoted Proverbs 29:15 'The rod and reproof gives wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.' And with that last quote I let out a resounding 'Amen brother!' There are some discipline quotes that come from my family that I would have liked to of added. Like Grosa 11:7 'Jislaaik, I'm going to do you a damage.' or Grosa 16:3 'You're not too old to get a hiding.' and then of course Grosa 22:12 'Just wait til your father gets home.'
Now truthfully, I actually love children. It saddens me to see how so many of them are raised without boundaries, being over-indulged and allowed to live as a law unto themselves. While editing this blog this morning, I read on news24.com that South Africa is pushing forward with a law making it illegal for parents to discipline their kids with a good hiding. How tragic. We already exist in a lawless youth society. Not just in South Africa, but worldwide. Children need to learn that disobedience has negative consequences. Disobedience in later life can have disastrous consequences. These formative years are their training ground. A training that will enable them to integrate into society as functional, mature people.
So Mums and Dads, I ask you, if not for the sake of your child, then for the sake of people like me, who just want to enjoy a morning coffee with peace and quiet in a café; teach your kids to obey. Then they will truly be a blessing from God.
Whilst your posts are usually aimed at improving man's principles etc. I am sorry but I cant let this one go.
ReplyDeleteI have met many people and I was one myself who judged and still do judge people and their discipline of children but I also live on the other side of the coin and feel that perhaps you take the wrong lesson from this situation.
A mothers job is exceptionally difficult and easily judged by outsiders who know nothing of that families situation.
My child is seen as difficult and uncontrollable. I am sure that people have judged me as a bad parent but as a parent you have to pick your battles based on your strength at that moment.
Yes, there are a large number of children who are spoilt but equally there are large numbers of children and families who have special needs, medical and neurological.
This is an area I feel very strongly about because my child looks completely normal but her behaviour is not, she did not choose to be different and to be honest the annoyance of others does not phase in the slightest because she doesnt understand. That little tut or sideways glance however, may just be the very thing that destroys the parents very precarious emotional balance.
Perhaps rather than a chance to break someone else down it would be good to reconsider it as an oppertunity to consider and preach grace and tolerance. Just saying.
Jo
Hi Jo,
DeleteThank you so much for your post and your feedback which is always welcomed and appreciated. Apologies for responding so late. I hear your point, and understand where you are coming from as a parent of a child that is perceived as being difficult and uncontrollable. My blogs are never intended to victimize or offend anyone, and my sincere apologies if that is how it was conveyed when you read it.
Whilst I cannot claim to have full knowledge of that particular family's situation, I can tell you that my perceptions are not just done on a whim. I, myself work in special education needs which ranges from dealing with children who are austistic , to those who have socio-behavioural disorders (grace and tolerance indeed I have a plenty). My mother is a child psychologist, and my father has worked in child care for 27 years as principal of a children's home for kids who were abused, abandoned or came from broken homes.
Like you, this too is an area I also feel strongly about. Children, regardless of their predicament, require an adequate, stable, consistent, and appropriately disciplined environment. It's Biblical and I make no apologies for that.
I do understand and empathize with parents of difficult children, as I too have to deal with the parents and their frustrations and concerns. That being said, I trust that God will lead and show you how to parent and raise your daughter with wisdom and insight in order to fulfill the destiny that He has placed within her.
Fond regards
Linton